


Flames

by whizzerdbrown



Series: Be More Chill One-Shots [4]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, and still existed in the ending, jake at the end, rich centric, rich remembers the fire, the others are just kind of mentioned, they were there in the beginning, tw: post traumatic stress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 15:05:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11061501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whizzerdbrown/pseuds/whizzerdbrown
Summary: The Gang™ has a bonfire to celebrate the end of a successful high school career before they separate for college. The fire doesn't go nearly as well as planned.





	Flames

They had been talking about having a bonfire for weeks. A celebratory party for graduating high school, just some time to hang out before they had to part ways for college. Christine had questioned Rich thousands of times, would it really be okay, was he really okay with having a bonfire after all that happened, and each time he had brushed it off and said that it was fine. He was fine. He was over it. No more nightmares, no more sleepless nights, no more plagued thoughts about how he almost killed his only true friends. He was fine. It didn't bother him anymore. 

And he was right, at first. They were all sat around the large pile of wood – Jeremy, Michael, Brooke, Chloe, Christine, Jenna, Jake, and Rich himself – when Jenna lit the match and tossed it onto the wood. Michael cheered as the wood engulfed in flames. 

The fire. Flames. Rich couldn't take his eyes off of the sight directly in front of him. Bright, orange, red, yellow. Hot. Burning hot. Scorching hot. Crackling flames. Flames. Fire. He couldn't hear anything else other than the popping and crackling of flames. Couldn't hear his friends around him talking and cheering. Couldn't hear them calling his name and asking what was wrong, and if he was okay. Just the fire. That was all that was there - him, and the fire. He felt like he couldn't breathe. This was exactly like the party. The next thing Rich knew, he was running. He had to get away. 

It just seemed to follow him. No matter how fast he ran, no matter how far he ran, no matter how many times he tripped just to pick himself back up and push on, no matter how many tears ruined his vision as they fell down his face, no matter how loud he screamed for it all to just stop. 

Rich hit the ground again, for the umpteenth time, but this time he just stayed there. In the grass on his knees, his clothes covered in dirt and stains, his knees tore up from countless falls. But he was numb to all of this, this didn't matter. Was he losing his mind? He swore he could almost hear the voice of his SQUIP coming back to him… Rich. Rich. Richard. R–

“Rich!” 

He swirled around in his spot. He wasn't mentally stable enough to realize how grateful he should be to see that the voice belonged to Jake, not his SQUIP. 

“Hey. Hey, it's okay,” Jake’s voice, now soft and soothing, spoke to him. “It's alright. The fire’s gone, we put it out. No one’s hurt.”

Rich didn't even realize that he was sobbing until Jake sat beside him and pulled him into an embrace. He practically clung to Jake, like he was afraid to lose him. And, really, he was. Terrified. If Jake had been in that house fire for much longer…

“I’m sorry.” Rich sobbed miserably. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry–” 

And he couldn't stop. He repeated himself for what seemed like forever, shaking his head, clinging to Jake. He felt like he would never stop crying. All of the memories were back – the looks that everyone gave him, the fact that they ignored his multiple cries for help, the looks on everyone’s faces as he threw down the matches, the screaming, everyone running out of the house, Jake picking him up and tossing him over his shoulder when he refused to leave the house. 

“Breathe, Rich. Slow down. It's okay. It wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong,” Jake murmured softly, rubbing slow comforting circles over Rich’s back. 

It seemed like years before Rich cried out all of his tears. At this point, he couldn't even cry anymore. Was he dehydrated? He didn't even care. Let him be dehydrated, fuck it. Jake seemed to be having the same thoughts, as he stood up, still holding Rich in his arms, and began walking back. 

“I don't want to go back,” Rich had managed to mumble, expression and tone blank, as he leaned weakly against Jake. 

Jake looked down at Rich, his worried expression making Rich wish that he had more tears to cry. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don't know…”

They ended up at an old hotel, Jake putting Rich down and giving him his hoodie before they went inside. Sitting across from each other on the creaky bed, Rich refused to make eye contact with Jake. Instead, all of his attention was on the overly long sleeves on Jake’s hoodie, and how dirty his own clothing was. 

Jake spoke up first. “Why did you say that it was okay if it wasn't?”

“I thought it was,” Rich answered softly, honestly. “I really thought it was. It was so long ago.. and I hadn't been thinking about it anymore. I had a therapist. She said I was better. I felt better. But… I guess I’m still fucked up, huh?”

“You aren't fucked up. It was a scary experience. I can't even imagine being in your shoes.”

“It was horrible. I could have killed everyone–”

“It wasn't your fault.” Rich only moved his gaze to stare at Jake, so Jake added on. “It was the SQUIP. It was malfunctioning, right? You didn't want to do that. You would never do that.”

“But I saw it all like it was me. It was just like I was doing it, except I couldn't control myself.. I couldn't control anything that I was doing. I tried to tell people, but–”

“I know. I know, and I’m sorry, I wish that we would have taken you more seriously so we could have helped. But I’m here now, and I won't be leaving anytime soon.”

Rich fell silent again after that. He was exhausted. Jake picked up on that as well, and pulled Rich in close to him before laying them back in the bed. 

The bed wasn't the most comfortable thing ever, but being in Jake’s comforting presence and embrace almost made it completely worthwhile.


End file.
